The Funniest Stand-up Comedians
Who REALLY makes you bust-a-gut laughing. Don't agree with the list? Place your vote or if you are a logged in, add a new item for others to vote on.
“super funny”
“Best guy ever..
’Whats your chinese name’
Tap-sum-bong
’Isn’t that like getting high’”
“OMG I laugh at his jokes no matter how many times I hear them... I love this joke though:
"you know women talk all buissness on the phone and men talk pure do-do"
"you hear a woman talking and the phone and shes like-yeah id like chairs with that and have your people call my people okay-(phone turns off)"
"you hear men on the phone and they try to make it look cool- talk to me... yeah.. oh.. lap danceing I’ll meet you there (turns off phone) buissness baby buissness (he says to wife)"”
read more comments on Russell Peters
“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, ’I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.’”
“God of Comedy”
“master of the comedians”
read more comments on Jerry Seinfeld
3)
Dane Cook
“"YOUR AN F-N RIOT!"”
“God of our time”
“"ok that will be $3.17, just pull up to the window. "
"where do I go? "
"where do you go?!? okl mam your gonna take a left at the taxico station, go three miles that way, and youll see a guy in a rain coat. his name is jose he will take you to the whopper lair. and if don’t get there within 15, we take your food! "
that is funny stuff”
read more comments on Dane Cook
“george carlin is one guy who knew what he was talking about. the funniest man to have ever lived. everyone around him on this list should feel ashamed to be in his presence. he will be missed.”
“Makes all these amateurs, look like, well like amateurs. Carlin is considered a legend in my book. "The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept"”
“I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.”
read more comments on George Carlin
“I love his impressions of other people, they are hilarious.”
“4 words im rick james bitch”
“FUNNY GUY... HE KEEPS IT REAL.”
read more comments on Dave Chappelle
“he is so funny... pimp chronicles”
“He should be #1”
“Katt Williams is one of the funniest comedians ever. If you haven’t seen american hustle then thats why he isn’t number one vote him up there”
read more comments on Katt Williams
“’Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.’”
“I love to play my music loud in my apartment, but my neibour dosen’t. So he bangs on the wall a lot, and that makes me mad ’cause I like my music loud. So one day I decided to start messing with his head, so I said "GO AROUND! I cannot open the wall! " Rest In Peace.”
“I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too. R.I.P. Mitch”
read more comments on Mitch Hedberg
“’We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.’”
“I die laughing every time!”
“it is a tragic injustice that this man is not number 1. he is a brilliant artist.”
read more comments on Robin Williams
9)
Chris Rock
“hilarious!”
“He can always make me laugh and put a smile on my face!!”
“now i have a kid is nothing cuz even "roaches have kids too" i looked my daughter in the eye and relized my goal in parenting is to keep her off the poll!!”
read more comments on Chris Rock
10)
Steve Martin
“I gave my cat a bath the other day. . .they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that. . .”
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