Best Insults

This is an exceptional little phrase which can be used in any situation, whether it be orthodox or unorthodox. Furthermore I hope that anyone who uses this cracking little nugget of pure wit uses it well, as the results could be explosive.

This is a great diss, which implies that their birth was a big mistake, caused by a failed condom. Perfect to use to someone who you think has no purpose of doing anything, and just tries to target you for no reason.

I literally laughed my ass off off when I read this, so going to use it at school!

I WILL USE THIS JOKE TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON I SEE ANYWHERE I GO IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!

I'm going to so use this one! This one of the BEST I've heard so far.

This is the funniest this I've heard all day!

GREAT! I love this! I am so going to use it on everybody! This is the best insult in the world! I don't think anybody will hate this diss!

Nice! I actually laughed at this one! I might try this one on a woman although it will fail horribly. I want to see their reaction!

Amazing, I used this on an idiot from my school! I love this website, it's really cool.

This is absolutely brilliant. I can picture it happening. I really hope I can remember this one forever because I'm sure I'm going to need it eventually.

That was seriously funny who ever came up with that is a legend laugh out loud

I laugh so much at this one! Laugh out loud
Dude this was really cool

+36Red Forman is a winner. How many times has he insulted people with this? How many times has it fit? 'enough said.

+31A classic! Always use it hahahaha. The absolute best of all time. People will say this always no matter what

+21I started cracking up seeing it this high on the list and just seeing the word "dumbass"...

I think is the best dis ever, you can say it anyone calls you dumb or brag about themselves

hi. not much of an opinion. Oh well this was still really hilarious.

That's hilarious! I'm gonna use it on my mean cousins!

this is so cool! who thought of this? I know someone like this and I never got to explain my thoughts about him.

lala222

Love it, this is a first class insult.

Best one ever I am so using this on my math class friend. It's hilarious

Say it in a Mychonny accent and it becomes GENIUS AND WILL own ANYONE!

I love this; its great. Id rate this higher than a three, the others on the list didn't make me laugh as much.

I could use this as a joke with friends. I could use a slight re-mix of this when leaving a conversation after an argument. I could use this anywhere!

leniv

this is so perfect for my one enemy he's goin down thank you so much :D <3 <3 <3

I actually spat out my drink when I read this! Made me laugh a lot! Still chuckling about it now!

I used it on my friend and she didn't get it. She really didn't spring at all

BrokenSong

Hillarous still laughing the best joke ever since number 1 I used it on my friends but he didn't get it but the rest of the table got it perfectly and started laughing so hard we got in trouble

that was so tight I couldn't even come up with that and I'm eminem

this one is a killer by kush
hahahahaha who put you on this one man you got crack up connections

This is serious I'll use this one aww the person is gonna die when he hears this

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome. Im gonna use this on my enemy when the time comes... or maybe even tomorrow! LOLOL Love it. Whoever first said this was a genius. (:

genious! lol this is a good one and I'm so gonna use it!

Funny! I liked it. Bob. A;sdfdsa;oj sdjfhseak;l hcsd hdsklhsh cklsdchfn od cldsh flsidocd mklfxs

I'm gonna have to use this one cause it's the funniest one on here

this is genius... pure genius... I have to use this the next time I see someone I hate

this is the best one on here should be at the top it is so great I'm gonna definitely use it all the time!

I've always wanted to know how it was possible for some of the most horrible and stupidest people in the world managed to win the race against 100,000 others, It makes me wonder what all of those others would of made...

Hahaha I said something like this to this boy in my class I mean seriously some people were dropped as babies but he was CLEARLY thrown at he wall!

It's Hilarious! and a bit mean.. I could tell this to anyone I'm sure they will laugh as much as me :D... even my mother did!

Double insult... On how old you are and in your stupidity. Especially if you ask someone sensetive to their age

This one's really good because it's two insults in one. Really good for saying to a mean girl that's sensitive to their age.

This one was mine and I put it here, is it bad if I said this to my teacher and my parents. Sad sdf sdfg

This one is epic, can't believe no one has realized this yet! Great twist at the end

Laugh out loud this is hilarious! This is funny in any situation and is also useful if someone who is butt-ugly is targeting you, but the results could get you into a fight...

I couldn't stop laughing. This is a funny insult that I would use on a lot of people because their mothers would've said the same thing!

took me a long time to chose and I'll probably change my mind in ten minutes but this is awesome

CaptainComedy17

k that one was so bad! haha nice one though I'm so gonna say this to my friend

Lmafo I LOVED This it worked I said and someone gave me this look and they looked like jerk!

That is so cruel... Laugh out loud

LMFAO thats so hilarious I'm going to use it the next time I want to hurt someone BADLY :) :)

Haha using this all the time, you'll never forget this Xx

I laughed so hard my face turned purple and I blacked out for a sec... Then I kept on laughing

Haha this is so funny I can't even stand it I love it so much lol! I'm gonna use that on my dad. Hopefully I don't get a slap lol

lol! I used this on this guy at school and even HE laughed so hard he fell over!

This is epic - using it tomorrow for sure. Whoever made this is an epic genius

This ones a total puller when you wanna bust the hell outta your opponent in a crisp sentence...

Great amazing insult! I love it so much. So funny this is fantastic.
Best one so far definitely. Anyone who is mean to me is gonna have no comeback to this!

I can't get over this... I've been laughing at my laptop for half an hour now

Oh my gad this is so... I can even use that to my worst friend I can't get hold of laughters now laugh out loud laugh out loud

I have an obsession with yo mamma's so fat jokes. Thanks for the mental image. LAWL. Your mamma's not halal if she's related to whales...

Very good - excellent for people who don't have friends! (we all know someone like that, don't we? )

This is so funny! My little brother wanted to play cards with me and I didn't want to but he kept asking me and I said that^ LMAO

I could use this on a coupple people. Some of them are so annoying and they just need that thing to make them shut the hell up. Especially at school.

That's so funny I'll use this on a dudue in my class that will shut him right up.

i said that to this bully and he cried!!

That's the best 1 I herd in a long time

Use it more smart people and they will get it

megabat17

The only one that made me laugh, Im probably gonna use it at some point xD Genious!

BEST YO MAMMA JOKE EVER. I DON'T NORMALLY LAUGH A LOT, BUT THIS ONE CRACKED ME UP!

This is like so funny! I am tottaly using it. AWESOME Yo MaMa joke who ever invented it. Genius! FANTASTIC! AMAZING!

WOW... That is so hurtful. I should use this on my enemy... He is going DOWN. THIS IS HARSH

This joke might be funny but doesn't mean its right to say I mean I'm especially talking to christians here! Come on get real who made this ANYWAYS! @#$%

Wow that was messed up. I would not say that to my worst enemy evver. So wrong. So wrng.

Oh my god! I love this and I am so totally gonna use it!

That is pretty dang awesome! A fantastic insult! I love this! Totally going to use it! didn't expect somethign to be this good, but it was completly awesome!

I found this so splenderous! My ears came in Delight! All the best
Liam Baxter! Eh Yeah!

O man! wait till i tell my friend about this 1!

Pretty funny, didn't expect to like any of these, but this one was great! ^___^

Axl was talking about Slash who left Guns N Roses in 1997. Slash was known to use drugs like Duff and Izzy but he is the most addicted one. He is not using drugs anymore.

ronluna

Cancer is the most deadliest and the most dangerous diseases, a cure is less known and the survival rate is not yet guaranteed but being talked about being a cancer is the worst with people avoiding you

ronluna

+11ohhhhhhhhhhhh damn I think i will use this one

+2this diss makes my friends diss sound like
its stupid lolollololollololol as soon as I saw this big paragraph without even reading it I knew it was going to be a good 1

That so funny I think who eve made the joke should be put on funnest person in the world lmfao you should read this

+16Absolute AMAZING one! The lad went walking away like his mothers FAT backside

+6This is so cool I am so gunna try it lol :~)

Lmfao I fell off my chair when I saw this this is like the best one on here I'm gonna use this on my enemy she is going DOWN! > <:

A cracking good one that will baffle the wits of my brother.
Jolly good.

That is so hilarious. A girl stole my best friend yesterday... watch out.

i can use this on my older brother
mwahaha

That would make someone cry, I'm a hurtful person but this joke makes me seem like a nice person, It's funny and extremely mean

OMG! I FREAKING LOVE THIS! I'M GONNA SAY IT TO YOU!

DANG! This DAME burn will roast on SO MANY PEOPLE... LIKE SERIOUSLY! I'm not even kidding... It is just so DAME awesome...

Genius. Made me laugh so hard

This joke is a better version then the I asked your weight not your phone number who ever thought of this is a legend

Haha me and my bestie couldn't stop laughing 4 ages

That's so funny! Why can't it be in like the top 10 or something? Sheesh, either American's don't have a sense of humor, or we just can't seem to press the right button

Awesome... Really witty & it definitely has to be in the top 5..!
I'm still laughing... Funny as hell..

Nice 1! Although yo mama jokes is boring this is the best 1 I love that joke so much it made me pee on me that is the number 1 joke

This is not funny at all... It's cruel and harsh and no one should ever say this to anyone! Gosh, who says that?

Not funny at all. If someone said that to me I'd quickly tell them their future and the outlook would be bleak!

Considering my mom died of cancer at age 36 in 2006... Not funny at all. Whoever thought of this one should be slapped.

HAHAHA SO FUNNY! THIS IS FAR THE MOST BEST JOKE ever! I SAID IT TO MY BRO AND HE STARTED CRYING LIKE HELL

I did the same to my bro and he cry out loud

Say something bad but it still funny
Hahaha

So funny... Laugh out loud ^____^... (as well as so insulting)... Plus this is the best

That is so cool, I could use it against my enemy in bahrain!

+16Simple, but made me laugh as soon as I read it, well done

+10That's actually pretty damn funny.

+7! That's so smart yet funny! I think I heard it before, from your mother?!

Very close to my life story

hahahaahah made me laugh so hard this girl is gonna regret everything she has done to other people

AWESOME!
THAT WAS SO AWESOME LIKE! MY ENEMY IS GOING DOWN! "IT" WILL NEVER SEE IT COMING!
WOW I'M IN AWE

Oh my gosh.. that is priceless...

Simply_Nobody

Hahahaha, I should use this on my friend when he pisses me off

I am so using this! Brilliant!

HenP

Call the fire department, cause you just got burned

classic insult, i don't remember who actually said it first..

Awesome, Kinda Mean But It's Cool. I will definitely try to use this one. Not amazing but cool. ;) Maybe make a bit more sense?

This one is simply brilliant because it ties together cute imagery with a bitter twist.

Its the only one what made me laugh, I'm so going to use this on a boy he picks on me he told me he was gonna burn my house down and put his penis in my behind I need some come backs so I don't like like an ediot

That's a Chumbawamba song. Well done for being original..

Ellis

Awesome! This one's gonna hurt.. But look at the bright side I guess this one's going to blow your enemy away.

Actauulyy made me laugh so muchh! Laugh out loud! ROFL! =D

That one is great! I said it to my friend who was severely premature, she slapped me.

That... Is beautiful. Even more-so because they person you've said it to would hardly understand.
I love taking the "You're an idiot" grounds on someone with something like that.

Said it to my friend didn't have a clue but my teacher was cracking up!

Hilarious! I can't wait to use this the next time I'm in line somewhere. Wish I could've used this today when the stinky guy behind me at the bank hunched over me like he was about to hump. Lmfao, great one!

Oh my god, this is so hurtful laugh out loud
I'm definitely using this for sure

+13That's absolutely horrible! It made me laugh so hard I was crying!

+1My friends dad owns a pizza shop ill try it on my friend lol and maybe my bro lol ty so much I have to use it

This sucks very badly it doestn even make sense

+7Genius. This is hilarious, I fell off my chair when I read it and I'm still laughing now! I'm so gonna use it. Ace diss

+2I'm crying , THIS IS HILARIOUS! Oh gosh.. Oh gosh

+1Amazing diss!
so gonna use it! Thank you!
My friend was speechless!

Awesome. This was completely awesome. Going to tell this to an ugly jerk at school. This was perfect. Going to write this down.

THIS IS NOT FUNNY LIKE DON'T PUTS STUFF UP IF YOUR NOT FUNNY GIVE UP YOUR NEVER GONNA BECOME A COMEDY OKAY AND YOU can't GET MAD AT WHAT I SAID BECAUSE I'm A GOOD FRIEND I TELL THE TRUTH

this is going to be a good one for a bully at our school

OW! That's gotta hurt, dawg!

OUCH! Biggest insult in insult HiStOrY!

Clearly you were the one who dragged them through dumbass forest

I Died laughing from this one. COMPLETE GENIUS! Gotta use this on a hater sometime soon...

You're so stupid that you COULDNT put M^^M 's in alphabetical order.

i can't wait to do that one

this one is pretty good. he he

This is a funny insult. DOUBLE HIT! I told this to my ex girlfriend. She was really sexy and she liked me, and now I can't talk to her. IT WAS STILL WORTH IT

WAY TOO EPIC! How did you even invent such a cruel insult? You must be such a d* in real life

This was surprisingly satisfying, not only does it offend them behavior wise but also offends them in a decent manner instead of trying to insult in a rude way..

Hahaha that's really funny I love it...
going to use that on someone for sure

Laugh out loud! I'm totally using this on my friend! We diss each other every day for fun in Drama class.. Can't wait til tomorrow ;)

Wow! I can't believe this one. And there are so many FAKE people in my school. Ima so use this one them. They just can't stop being fake! Trololololo!

My bro says that to me all the time. It results in physical violence on my part. But I gotta admit its pretty funny

burn baby burn! I'm going to do this to a friend that I once had and lost the next day

So simple and yet so effective and funny LMAO! Imma try th

Laugh out loud THAT WAS HILARIOUS THREE THUMBS UP MAN! BRAVO BRAVO!

Funny ill use it on everyone I know, almost as funny as number fifty eight

Rofl. This one cracked me up. I'll use it for sure

This is awesome, I could use this on my friend who always uses these types of jokes on me, I'm probably gonna get slapped for it though.

hahhaha! I used this one a lot! :D hillaarious! x)

So cool. I loved it. I'm am so going to use that on all the people I hate This will be perfect.

This is so stupid... It doesn't make any sense and its not a good fat joke at least I don't understand it... But maybe its just me...

ahaha. The best insult here. Made me vote. really like your website here.
bu

The best diss can't wait till tomorrow because there is this girl who gets on my friends nerve and mine and I can use this joke

HATE IT! IT TOTALLY BACKFIRED ON ME! I told it to my little sister and she said whose the first one? You? GRR I'M NOT VOTING FOR YOU SO FIND SOMETHING ELSE.

I hate everybody so this is great! I play WoW and people piss me off to no end on this game, so this is going to work great!

Maybe you should read more clearly.. Its says "your parents are siblings" meaning the parents were brother and sister which would cause the child to have a mutation of some sort... Damn you should be reading the stupid insults instead.

Omg omg omg too funny there's this girl in my class and we hate each other I also bitchslaped her. Anyway she wares so much bronzer she looks orange this will work perfectly on her.

There's a fine line between tan and looking like you rolled in Doritos!

"you must be so rich in Vitamin C, that you looks so Orange! on your skin tone... :)

haha..made me remember my bf's ex!

its funny a friend of mine keeps saying am I pretty now I know what to tell her

This is horrible. Who ever did this is getting punched in the throat. This is not even funny what so ever... Only people who don't know what its like to be around someone special would say this.

This is awful. I have special needs, thanks a lot! You're a really awful person, whoever created this. So back the heck off, would you? You need to get punched in the face!

rofl xd this should do the trick (a)
imma use it everyday xO its hilarious

+6Nice! I used this today on my contractor who is a wannabe funny kinda a guy. But I said it this way:

Look man just cause your life is a joke doesn't mean you're funny, alright.

+3Okay this is perfect I know someone who always tries to be funny this will work great!

-1Awesome! I will use this! This is great when you're in a dissing fight! Thanks! I also got another one. Try this one: Your life is a mistake. LOOL

It makes no sense, but it's still hillarious.

Good one because it doesn't hurts anyone deeply but it says a lot too.. ;) cheers!

I have used this one plenty of times an its just as funny every time laugh out loud

Pretty good. I can just picture this woman running down to the buffet, knocking all these people out of her way.

Jokes man so gonna use this like my mate wil

Funny used it on my brother he crack up even though he's not fat

Absolute Classic. Something that can be said as though you yourself have come up with it.

Brilliant! This had me laughing all night. It's so simple it still gonna hurt! I must use this soon

LMAO! This is hilarious! I was laughing so hard and I'm stil laughing now XDD great job whoever came up with this one! L

What about they had to make an extra 20 sides? That's better. Yeah. That is so much better. Bye.

oh snap this is perfect thing for a girl to say to someone hitting on her, it's so cold.

Ohhhhhh that hurts what a awsome brush off dude!

Bec

That is awesome. Really funny! I'll remember that one next time! Cause it is really hilarious!

That's really cool to have a mom who's a racecar driver :-p my uncles best friend was Dale Earhart Sr

My mom's a racecar driver. SO that's why I didn't like this one.. So sad... But it's a good one even thought my situation.

I definitely have to use on this girl at my school we used to be friends...

I got a black eye for saying this one to the toughest most stupidest kid in school yet I still love it

How is this one not number 1 I mean seriously I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard

I get it but I don't like it.. Everyone knows how rice crisps pop & crackle.. That's pretty much what its saying... Think people think.. (:

hehe nice one, used it in my argument on facebook :D

Ha be sure to use this LMFAO man if you need a good laugh then check this out

LMFAO I USE IT ON 10 PEOPLE THEY START TO CRY LIKE DANG I LOVE THIS SO FUNNYY!

Lmfao I laughed for so long! It killed me haha I am totally gonna use this in one of my conversations and I'm gonna tell my friends about it to

Quote from Chicago... Great originality, amirite?
Too bad its not that funny anyways.

take off the 'And she's a woman.. ' part, it makes sound stupid

LOL!, I guess I'll go say that to justin bieber XD.. and he'll do that said face he does while singing baby >. >

SmoothCriminal

Awesome. Wow, I tried it on 5 people and they started to cry. Well, there's a lesson learned. Never tell a joke to kids who are complete crybabys.

I said this to the person who's bulling me... he said "i um... well you... ugh you win" I celebrated so hard that I slapped him XD hahahahahaha I still hate that smoking freak XD

I loved this joke I told this to my friend she got insulted and dumped me I don't care I never liked her she has a big forehead she is also really ugly.

rofl yeah boii this is right slap on the face:) I'd love to us it

its soo cold and funny the perfect combination!

Ahahahahha laugh out loud thats gotta be in the top 20 at least! I've never laughed so hard

F you that is very mean
i mean come on he died and its not nice to talk like that bout someone who died
understood?
if not shame on you

I had much inspiration for this one!

Wow that must hurt but yeah it's mean and I'm so gonna use this in school

aww man this is good, considering I'm from Scotland this will bee great! lmfao

I made that up...it's the most insulting thing I could think of

Absolutely halarious! The funniest one yet. Each time I read it I start laughing!