Best Insults: Page 2 - Top Ten List

101Who do you think is the best comedy team? ME? I think it's your parents....they made the biggest joke!

Oh my gosh.. that is priceless...

Simply_Nobody

Haha, I should use this on my friend when he pisses me off

I am so using this! Brilliant!

HenP

More comments about Who do you think is the best comedy team? ME? I think it's your parents....they made the biggest joke!

102You're the reason men beat their wives

Burn for a bitchy girl is so gonna say this to someone

Simply brilliant lmfao. Laughing so hard right now

That's great for a guy to say to a chick that pisses him off. Thanks this will be used a lot.

More comments about You're the reason men beat their wives

103Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.

Absolute AMAZING one! The lad went walking away like his mothers FAT backside

Laugh out loud.. Sick onee!
imma gna try itt!

Oh my gawd! Hilarious, I said this to my little brother and he got really baffled because I don't think he even knows what eBay is! Whew, I'm still cracking up.

More comments about Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.

104You so ugly your mom thought you were an octopus

very bad

Uglier than an ape!

105Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was

Very close to my life story

hahahaahah made me laugh so hard this girl is gonna regret everything she has done to other people

AWESOME!
THAT WAS SO AWESOME LIKE! MY ENEMY IS GOING DOWN! "IT" WILL NEVER SEE IT COMING!
WOW I'M IN AWE

106Your momma is so ugly... she gotta be your momma

Simple, but made me laugh as soon as I read it, well done

That's actually pretty damn funny.

That's so smart yet funny! I think I heard it before, from your mother?!

More comments about Your momma is so ugly... she gotta be your momma

107You're an accident waiting to happen...it's a good thing I didn't wait that long

108How much does your sister cost?

109If brains were made of gold, you and your family would be beggars.

How mean! This joke is for 1 person not he whole family. I find it very insulting! Well I really want to make this omment good, so don't use this insult. My bff used it on a boy and he cried like a lot!

110You're such a loser you could die playing Russian Roulette with a Nerf gun.

111Stupid, pathetic worm.

112You lied you said you were ugly, you're not, you're hideous

This is just hilarious! I should really use this to someone who post their pictures on the Internet and claim that they're "ugly" to the fact that they want everyone to go like "Ohh no. Deary.. You're cute". Bleh.

This is awesome dude I'm was plannig on doing a insult contest with my sister on my side and my enemys on the other laugh out loud ah I can't wait were totally gonna win with all the insults I copied down

I have been told this and the person was serious.. And it is true.. I am hideous. I like the saying anyway. Totally indicative of what I look like.

113If you were half as funny as you think you are, you would be twice as funny as you are.

114Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag

Laugh out loud THAT WAS HILARIOUS THREE THUMBS UP MAN! BRAVO BRAVO!

Funny ill use it on everyone I know, almost as funny as number fifty eight

Rofl. This one cracked me up. I'll use it for sure

More comments about Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag

115Your so fat when I go on Google Earth all I see is your belly button

Oh my god! I was laughing so much that before I said it to my enemy, I started crying with laughter and when I said it every was! Even my enemy laughed!

116I took a picture of you and taped it to my ass, but you were still uglier.

Rofl yeah boii this is right slap on the face:) I'd love to us it

Used it on my ex friend she got s pissed off laugh out loud so worth it!

I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!

117Your house is so small, you ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside.

Genius. This is hilarious, I fell off my chair when I read it and I'm still laughing now! I'm so gonna use it. Ace diss

I'm crying, THIS IS HILARIOUS! Oh gosh.. Oh gosh

Amazing diss!
so gonna use it! Thank you!
My friend was speechless!

118You're so dumb you wait at a stop sign for it to go green

Awesome, lmfao, here is one, your so fat you don't sit on a couch you break it!
That one is good but this joke hilarious will definitely use it!

This is a dumbass joke! The only person who is dumb is the writer who wrote it.

THIS IS AWESOME I am so gonna use this on my enemy I'm just ROFLing thinking about it

119Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul.

Oh my god, this is so hurtful laugh out loud
I'm definitely using this for sure

120Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

Awesome. This was completely awesome. Going to tell this to an ugly jerk at school. This was perfect. Going to write this down.

Exceptional little insult. I've used it on manny occasions and it never fails to get a reaction!

121What was that? You have a brain freeze? But honey doesn't that actually require a brain first?

hahhaha! I used this one a lot! :D hillaarious! x)

So cool. I loved it. I'm am so going to use that on all the people I hate This will be perfect.

Haha the best 1 I've read so far I cuss my ex-bestfriend a lot so this would be perfect...

More comments about What was that? You have a brain freeze? But honey doesn't that actually require a brain first?

122You was born on a motorway cause that's where most accidents happen

Better go get a firetruck, because you just got BURNED.
What a classic joke. I said that to my brother and he tried punching me. He hit me and then he sprained his wrist. Had a splint fo

Aaah I used this on a boy in my class who has got a crush on me in front of his mates he wacked me round the head with his water bottle but SO worth it laugh out loud x 😝

"You was born on a motorway" or "You WERE born on a motorway"?... Funny joke though but I have to be fair.

More comments about You was born on a motorway cause that's where most accidents happen

123Yo mamma so old, she owes Moses a quarter

Moses wouldn't lend money to a woman

124Your Mama Is So Stupid She Thought Fruit Punch Was a Gay Boxing Club

The only good "your momma" joke ever made... Except maby one other

125Your mama so fat she jumped up to the sky and got stuck

So simple and yet so effective and funny LMAO! Imma try th

Yo mom can't jump to the sky because she can't get of the grown because she is way too fat and I am serious

126Dude you're so ugly your Mom doesn't want to hug you

127I feel sorry that you have to inhabit that body of yours.

128You so fat they had to cross out Jupiter

129You were adopted and never loved.

My sister says that to me all the time but for her that's a whole new level of stupid shez adopted too

My bro says that to me all the time. It results in physical violence on my part. But I gotta admit its pretty funny

Burn baby burn! I'm going to do this to a friend that I once had and lost the next day

130My mother is more of a man then you. And she's a woman..

take off the 'And she's a woman.. ' part, it makes sound stupid

This is more of a diss to yourself than to others (because of the "And she's a woman" part)

Hmm, oh the irony if the person was a he-she. Awkward...

More comments about My mother is more of a man then you. And she's a woman..

131Your parents are siblings

Maybe you should read more clearly.. Its says "your parents are siblings" meaning the parents were brother and sister which would cause the child to have a mutation of some sort... Damn you should be reading the stupid insults instead.

132Your mommas so fat that when she turned around its a birthday again!!

133So you're a blonde that everyone loves that has a sinless inside as white as snow.... you sound like a gay twinkie to me.

I definitely have to use on this girl at my school we used to be friends...

I got a black eye for saying this one to the toughest most stupidest kid in school yet I still love it

How is this one not number 1 I mean seriously I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard

More comments about So you're a blonde that everyone loves that has a sinless inside as white as snow.... you sound like a gay twinkie to me.

134I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass

This is just pain funny! It should definitely be higher up the list. I'm definitely using this one!

Laugh out loud wow that's good I've used this one a lot already when this really annoying girl was trying to run our project for school but we said no so when she kept talking about her ideas only I said this

How is this only number 408? That's absolutely unbelievable! I absolutely laughed out loud when I heard it. So to-the-point and cool at same time.

More comments about I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass

135Yo mama's so fat when she went missing, she took up all four sides of the milk carton

LMAO! This is hilarious! I was laughing so hard and I'm stil laughing now XDD great job whoever came up with this one! L

What about they had to make an extra 20 sides? That's better. Yeah. That is so much better. Bye.

136All the branches fell off your family tree when you were born

Just simply funny it makes sense that's what I like about it very good insult, no doubt about it! :-)

137Your breath smells so bad people look forward to your fart

Haha gonna use that on my friends

138You would look like your momma... if you grow a moustache. And some horns. And gain a few thousand pounds.

rofl xd this should do the trick (a)
imma use it everyday xO its hilarious

139You're so fat you make a hippo look skinny!

Funny used it on my brother he crack up even though he's not fat

140You're so weird you're made of cotton.

It makes no sense, but it's still hilarious.

Good one because it doesn't hurts anyone deeply but it says a lot too.. ;) cheers!

141If you want to see something funny, look at the mirror.

142I hate every subatomic particle in your pale, doughy body and I hope the tree of knowledge falls on your head so you can die ironically.

143You so ugly you cracked the universe in half

Universe cracker!

megainsult

144I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.

I feel the same way with this girl in my class, shes always talking about me, I wish I knew what she was saying.

145Your momma is so poor, she went to the wishing well and threw in an IOU

This is so funny I told this to this bully in my class and he went al speechless cause he had no comeback. On a scale of one to ten this is a ten hundred

Nice joke. It's funny huh. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest this would definitely be a 9.8374

146Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example

147Your head's so big that it has its own orbit

148Your head's so big that it has its own postcode

149With just one more brain, what a halfwit he'd be.

Laugh out loud love this comeback it's really funny I'm gonna use it on a really mean boy in my class he's always saying I don't have good comebacks so I'm gonna show him who's boss. YEAH!

150By some strange chance, are your parents cousins?

Witty sarcasm at its best!

151Whore.

Laugh out loud tipical joke to whores in the world and again you should say tipical whore (clasic)

152Yo mama's so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out

Absoulutley funny, I have to use this to my friend right now! He is standing right next to me but not watching this lmao

153Your momma's so fat when she runs she's rolling the earth under her

Ahahahahha laugh out loud thats gotta be in the top 20 at least! I've never laughed so hard

I used theis on my friend and he didn't talk 2 me for 1 monthlol

154Go lay by your dish

Hehe nice one, used it in my argument on facebook

Can't wait to use this on my sister in law! I will have to video it on post it on YouTube.

155Your parents made a mistake and it's name was [insert person's name here]

Awesome. Wow, I tried it on 5 people and they started to cry. Well, there's a lesson learned. Never tell a joke to kids who are complete crybabys.

156Yo mamma's so dumb she took a spoon to the Superbowl

Ha be sure to use this LMFAO man if you need a good laugh then check this out

LMFAO I USE IT ON 10 PEOPLE THEY START TO CRY LIKE DANG I LOVE THIS SO FUNNY!

Lmfao I laughed for so long! It killed me haha I am totally gonna use this in one of my conversations and I'm gonna tell my friends about it to

157When you were born your mum left you outside the orphanage and handed herself into the police

its soo cold and funny the perfect combination!

158If you ever happen to get a life, stop by for a while. I will give you advice on how to run it

Burn! I am so gonna use this on a few low lives I know at school! I love it hahah

159Your face looks like someone smashed a glass bottle on it then tried to pick out the pieces with a wooden spoon

I had much inspiration for this one!

Wow that must hurt but yeah it's mean and I'm so gonna use this in school

160Yo mamma so ugly not even rice crispes would talk to her

I get it but I don't like it.. Everyone knows how rice crisps pop & crackle.. That's pretty much what its saying... Think people think.. (:

161You're Michael Jackson gone wrong

162You are about as brilliant and sane as Tom Cruise

I made that up...it's the most insulting thing I could think of

163There was a comment about your dad in a movie... I think its YOU SON OF A DISHWASHER?

Absolutely halarious! The funniest one yet. Each time I read it I start laughing!

164You've got a face like a burst haggis

aww man this is good, considering I'm from Scotland this will bee great! lmfao

165Hey I'm here from the ugly face factory I'm here to get the face you stole... oh woops that must be your real face

This sounds like a four year old wrote this.. You should probably think of some more, cause this one is just pathetic... Bahahahaha.

166You've got more rolls then a bakery

I'm gonna diss someone with a droplip I know but instead you've got more rolls on your lip than a sausage roll/bakery!

I used this and the chick broke down crying Love it

167If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes....then why do you wear a bra?

Dude. Yes. I'm a bigger girl, and my friends been giving me tons of crud for no reason! She's a twig! YOU ARE GOING DOWN TRISHA.

Haha, I'm gonna use it to see if it really insults people but I really don't insult people and I'm not used to insulting people

Used it on one of my friends and she ripped it right off. Hee here

More comments about If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes....then why do you wear a bra?

168Why do you even get up in the morning?

Awesome That's great super funny I'm using it on my bros

This one is so good in a simple way

Ha that is hilarious but that is what some kids should be thinking about their sucky lives laugh out loud

169Yo mom's so easy a caveman can do her

Wow, I wonder how this isn't higher up... it's my line now :P

170You're too fat to be claustrophobic

But damn, everything is small to her though!

171You're the reason got created the middle finger

172You're such a... a... a word has yet to be invented to describe what you are. But you are one, and a big one at that.

This is tight!
I love it
Dude you guys are hardcore and making insults
Keep up the great work

HAHAAHA This is the best one yet!

Would be better if original

More comments about You're such a... a... a word has yet to be invented to describe what you are. But you are one, and a big one at that.

173Easy on the make-up, girl. I've seen clowns that look more natural than you.

174You remind me of the pressed remains of a dead pig's period.

175Your so fat they have to grease the door and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get you through

176You're so ugly Michael Jackson's coffin was gold and you turned it to stone

177Your mom is so fat she sat on the scale to prank call the number

178When your mum steps on a scale it says to be continued

179Your mommas hair is so nappy that Moses couldn't even part it

180You so crazy you got hungry sharks for pets

Sharks for pets

megainsult

181You're living proof that Snow White and Dopey had sex

Oh Yeah! this is hilarious, gonna use this one for sure..

So funny but isn't snow white kinda pretty

I used that insult to sb in my school... Laugh out loud! That was so funny, he was so dissed and totally ignored me

182I called your boyfriend gay and he slapped me with his purse

This is really funny so using this one at school one this girl
Lmfao

Awesome! Used this on my ex girlfriend who is dating another kid

183Your face my ass, what's the difference?

Ouchh! This is nice. Trust me take my advice I don't use it anyway.

The difference is my ass looks better. :)

184Yo mama so ugly Bob the Builder looked at her and said I can't fix that

oh my god this is the most funny one here! Why isn't it up the list more? This is hilarious! And yes, this is my ghost speaking.

So hilarious... Thiss is for girls who think their all that in a pack of crackers

Iv used this and its GOOD

185Most mums ban their children from playing PS3, your mum bans you from KFC.

This insult is too good, it rhymes and is a definite pick-up line for a continuation or an add-on of more related insults.

An insult with quality like this is too good not to be used, and should be used by anyone to insult a fat person, regardless if they own a PlayStation 3 or an Xbox 360. I was rolling on the floor when I originally heard this, and probably the best insult out of all of the insults on this page, just for it's creativeness.

In my friends, and my opinion, this is a top quality insult to use against fat people. It's funny, like any other great insult, and it rhymes too, and it puts your opponent to shame whilst using other top quality insults. My friend used this against a fat boy in my PE class, caused by a roar of laughs, followed up by me finishing off, saying "Free delivery".

DJSkribblez

186Yo momma is so fat your dad has to kneel up in bed to see if its daylight!

i thought that this is funny!

Wow well dad sure wont be seeing night or day if she gets any bigger.

187Your mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car

This one I thought was halarious because if you think bout it, it just makes you laugh

SO funny so so funny

188Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date

Ahh yes. My ex boyfriend about curled up and died. This one burns.

Dirty but funny sorry if someone already used it, all credit goes to the creator of this insult.

I love this one!

189Close your mouth! Crap is coming out of it.

Dude that's funny I used that on these dudes at school being jerks and they shut right up

Awesome couldn't stop laughing

190Yo mama's so dumb that she went to the Clippers game to get a haircut

WOW, even I'm not that blonde!

Stfu blonds aren't dumb

191Your mamma is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.

192You were such an ugly kid Michael Jackson kicked you out of Neverland.

193Your house is so small your front and back door are on the same hinge.

194Don't you have other things to think of? Oh! I forgot! Your brain capacity is too small for you to be able to think!

195Hey!! They made a song about your weight 8675309

Wow! This is awesome! I told my worst enemy this laugh out loud I bet she's really mad!

196They say art is ugly...so I guess you're God's best piece of art

197You're so ugly that when you wanted to sleep outside, you turned off the sun by looking at it.

198Yo momma so fat they had to change One Size Fits All to One Size Fits Most

Ohh
This made me laugh like hell
Gotta try this on my arch enemies... Jokes

199Your ears are so big, when turn around, the wind direction changes

200I think there's a bit of meatloaf on your neck there... wait... nevermind, it's just your face

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