Best Chuck Norris Facts
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oh my god, this is by far the funniest of them all... couldn't stop laughing!
Swim on land... That's the best one there is here! I love it! I guess physics just got crapped on.
by far the best nobody can do this but Chuck Norris... I'm still laughing man. Chuck Norris is the best, better than the Zohan
More comments about Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land."Chuck Norrised"... Haha! Virtual bouquet of flowers to whoever came up with this one! Awesome. Oddly enough, I haven't come across this one before, but as so many have declared--this one is gold.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY HAS THIS IN IT! (YOUTUBE)
Haha. Chuck Norrised... Love it. This ones a keeper for sure. CHUCK NORRIS for the win Pure awesomeness here
More comments about If Chuck Norris falls into a river, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the river gets Chuck Norrised.This fact REALLY made my day!
I laughed so hard as soon as I read it!
Chuck Norris FTW!
P.S. : Chuck Norris can strangle someone with a cordless phone... xD
Voters! Please get some sense of humor... This one should be at the TOP! Not down here!
Xion
TOO damn hilarious. This was the best fact ever created. So simple, yet so complex in it's true sentence. I probably just saw god... Okay no, not really. But this is better than any other, and some even get kinda... Blah? I guess, this never get's old.
More comments about Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just The Islands.+16all of these are great but this one is the best
moose4life19
+7I don't KNOW WHY THIS IS NUMBER 2 because ITS WAY BETTER THAN NUMBER 1!
ALSO WHERE IS DEATH ONCE HAD A NEAR CHUCK NORRIS EXPERIENCE! Laugh out loud
+5lol this one is just so amazing. how can it be number four when it should be number one and then some with a side of chips well done and medium rare
More comments about Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.I always wondered what he was hiding from but the answer is quite simple.
This one never fail to make me laugh It's really funny! I think this one should be on the top 3.
Yeah, it's funny because waldo is so wimpy looking.
masterblaster
More comments about Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.It's really only funny for those who have actually tried to delete the recycling bin. :)
This is just the best 1 out there! Props to whom ever made it up. How much trash do you have to write here to be able to Post?
lol I dunno why, lol'd the hardest to this one
lostgirl19
More comments about Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.I love it when these facts can come up in intense debates. Nothing better than throwing someone off with some Chuck Norris!
Oh my Gosh! This is made my day. So damn funny
I love the added its a shame he never cried at the end. Laugh out loud This one is by far the funniest. I hadn't seen this one before but it rules.
I love this one! Its hilarious! (mike fizzle chisel has approved this message. )
If chuck norris ever cried it would have to be his eyes swetting or something because if bruce lee is better chuck norris allows bruce lee and jackie chan to live
More comments about Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, it's a shame he's never cried.+9Well that is just really weird you know. I mean when I go to sleep the room is filled with boogiemen. I guess they chose to hide in my room. Laugh out loud
+3Well, everyone is afraid to be Chuck Norrised after all, but boogieman? Clever move chuck!
+2Funny stuff I thought it was hilarious. I love chuck norris keep sending jokes
More comments about When the Boogieman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.+18This one REALLY took the cake!
Just as the underestimated: "Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun".
+3Funniest one ever whoever thought of this should be talked about in the same conversations and einstien and steven hawking
+1yeah pretty much the best chuck norris joke.
at least that I've seen in a while.
Related Lists
The Contenders
This one should be at least in the Top 5. Its one of the few that has made me laugh. Sucks for my dad though, that means no birthday for him.
Chuck Norris is very assertive with the way he acts, NOBODY can make fun of him even "natural phenomena" can't be a "smart ass" against Chuck.
"NOT NOBODY, NOT NO HOW! " - The Wizard of Oz
Yep, that pretty much sums it up...
Lmao I can't believe this one isn't in the top 5. Do yall even know what braille is? Lmao
This is the best one I have ever heard. The other good ones made me chuckle but this one seriously made me burst out laughing. Please go look up braille if you don't know what it is!
So can Peter Griffin
"Bump, bump, sideways bump, two bumps, bump and 3 bumps"
Simply laugh out loud... I laughed my butt off after hearing this one... Its simple and funny...
Imply laugh out loud... I laughed my butt off after hearing this one... Its simple and funny...
AHAHAA that's just great, it says that he saw God and convinced him that HE doesn't exist!
So there is a God, Chuck Norris saw him and spoke to him, and anyway converted GOD to the ATHEISM?
Epic one. Can't believe it didn't made it to the top 10...
This is the funniest one out there!
Freak_Show1
I imagine when he was doing pull-ups. Maybe the sky is drawn down below -laugh out loud-
Chuck Norris is the funniest guy I've ever met. The #11statement is absolutely true. I Wish I get a chance to meet Chuck Norris someday!
More comments about When Chuck does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.Laugh out loud, most of the Chuck Norris jokes are quite repetitive but this one is just plain awesome. Good job to whoever made this up
THIS THE ONLY CHUCK NORRIS FACT I'VE HEARD THAT HAS MADE ME LAUGH!
I LOVE IT!
This one is HILARIOUS! Literally made me laugh out loud LOL! Cannot believe it's not in the top ten!
More comments about If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google, it doesn't ask what you meant. It simply comes back as RUN.Damn good one. I heard Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice. But this is hilarious
This is different my friend :D It actually make me laugh :DD
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$ made me laugh so much! @@@ I love this one so much!
Froggy
Awesome! Imagine someone sleeping with their head on a gun and a pillow underneath! This one should have been rated way higher!
Simple but hilarious! The jokes that are only one sentence are always the most funny.
Math must be really easy for him... Haha.. Maybe he can find the exact value of 'i', sqrt(-1)
This is so awesome. All you people don't know math to see how funny this is. (It is impossible to divide by zero)
Because he punched a horse, it's neck got real long? Like a knock-your-block off robot? Meh. OK joke.
Ie he can change the dna of something just by touching it! Made me laugh!
Kinda like the guys from ZZ Top hahahahahaha. It's true they don't have lower jaws
pretty G if you ask me.
Chuck norris is the coolest man on the planet, and I can't believe that you need to do al of this just so I could put that one sentence up there.
The joke sounds better if you say it like this, "Chuck Norris was having sex with a girl in a truck when a bit of his semen dropped onto the seat. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. "
This one is different than the usually stupid Chuck Norris jokes. Love it. I actually laughed at this one.
Laugh out loud ill never look at a potato sack the same way.
never heard this one hahaha. There are other funny ones but this is new.
That's good. Please, tell me. Who came up with this? Don't try and take credit, everyone. It's really good.
As a member of the revolving door's fan club, I gotta share this with the others! Laughed off asses will be everywhere!
Laugh out loud, that's so funny cause manslaughter is not supposed to be funny. He kills people.
The only one thus far to have made me laugh except for the one talking about how he is in control and how he knows Victoria's Secret.
This is hilarious. He killed all the life out of it. That's why mars is red, it is covered by blood.
This is the most popular and the funniest...simple and plain...norris is a beast
Should at least be in the top ten. This one and the Waldo are too funny. Waldo is #5 currently "Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. "
The only one that has truly made me laugh. The it was came out six foot tall and had learned karate part was just brilliant
I agree! Its the only one that actually made me laugh its funny if you just imagine chuck doing that
I was quietly reading... this one made me lol.
JTHM much?
LOLOLOLOL DUDE. THAT'S CLASSIC!
I wonder how that would feel?
Laugh out loud this one absolutely needs to be in the top ten^^
Imagine someone killing with a spoon!
Hilarious. It's like "lol" what is he waiting for.. But deep down, you know.
Read this years ago... I still laughed, silently, as I didn't want to a"wait" Chuck Norris... Sh.
I believe this fact to be true but don't forget about the other deadly animals at the bottom of his bed
Too funny :P
Onions crying lol. This should be number one!
Lol who started this chuck norris stuff. He is the best
This one made me laugh out loud I'm suprised it's not in the top 10
Laugh out loud ultimately amazing this one should be moved way up the ranks
Bu çok iyiymiş yahu heheheh daha üstlerde olmalı
Chuck Norris is the best! I was quietly reading the list and once I've got here it took a few sec until I got it but than laugh out loud
LAUGHED SO HARD! Wonder how often that happens though
ROFL! This is the one I laughed at the hardest, didn't expect such a thing, very funny...
I don't know why but after all of the others this is the first one that made me laugh aloud. I've never heard it.
TheCamoGhost
+9they don't even need to, that's obvious.
comment quality for chuck norris is allways excelent I bet(given that it can only reach good)... :(
Hilarious! I think Chuck Norris jokes are funny and I love Iron Maiden so this was the perfect one for me!
+1Haha Best one yet. I was just looking through all of them not sure What I should vote for and I found this. Haha. Maybe it's because I'm addicted to facebook but I voted for it!
This I believe should be higher simply because it's clever, compared to most of the comments above :))
Laugh out loud.. Funny jokes dude... I can stop laugh after reading this one...
But the best jokes is at number 17...
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
muhammadfajri
LMFAO! This one should REALLY be moved up the ranks, I laughed so hard!
So true considering that PCs are known for having lags and crashes
Excellent this one is pretty fresh.
Space holder cushion words
This is very clever and funny. :3
You'd think he'd have a stunt double for dieing. lol I love the joke.
Lolcano this made me rofl no actually I rolled
on the floor laughing. Should be number 1
This one was awesome. Really made me laugh. And all these years I thought superman didn't need a teacher!
The first to actually make me laugh out loud, haha
The answer to the question everyone has been asking! Should be higher up the list!
Classic! This one should be way higher. There is only one man who could do that.
When you look up Chuck Norris in the dictionary you are immediately met with a roundhouse kick to the face. Now you know.
Ask him to help fix mine! Because mine doesn't work!
saint4ever37
Yeah! Beiber haters! I love this so much, I hate Justin bieber, he sings, he looks like a girl, and I just have no idea why he has so many fans
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