Mitch Hedberg

“'Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.'”

“I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow s***.”

“I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too. R.I.P. Mitch”

travis13

“"im not making a banana bread, pastrami, and cottage chesse sandwich"”

“he was gonna be big, but he died way to early R.I.P. good buddy”

“my friend asked me if i wanted a frozen banana, and i said no, but i wanted a regular banana later so... yeah”

“This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard.”

“"I'm tired of following my dreams. Im just gonna ask where theyre going and meet up with them later."
RIP Mitch. Youre #1 to me.”

“I enjoy escalators because they can never break, they can only become stairs. Escalators temporarily stairs, pardon the convenience.”

“You're gonna have to sleep on the floor... Oh man, you don't know how badly I wanted to sleep on the wall... damn gravity got me again...
R. I. P. Mitch... one of the best comedians... EVER.”

“Amazing. He got me interested in stand-up.”

“mitch was and still is the funniest guy who ever walked this earth”

“The way mitch hedberg looks at the world is completely different from anyone else's. I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too! it's brilliant to make those connections.”